Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
