Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
