i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
too bad you live with your parents still
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
