I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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