areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
