ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
