I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
