Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
