Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
