I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
