Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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