yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
