Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
