So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize