another moral hangover. fuck.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
