I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize