$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Your cock deserves a montage
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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