She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
