when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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