For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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