your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he was CRYING into my vagina
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
