Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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