She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
3 2 1 whiskey
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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