Me too!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
