I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize