..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
