We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
