Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
