the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he was CRYING into my vagina
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need water and some morals
Randomize
