I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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