I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
