on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
