Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
