If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
