Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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