Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize