You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
