Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
