This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
