question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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