She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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