And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
