As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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