It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
