According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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