I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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