he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize