Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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