My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
