You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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