I am in a vortex of obligation.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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