brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
