These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
