good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize