I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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