He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
