Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
