you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
