you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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