I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
