Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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